Midgets vs. Mascots [DVD Review]
Submitted by Brian Williams on Mon, 02/08/2010 - 12:18
What the world needs isn’t more love, or more cowbell, it’s more Gary Coleman. The poor guy forever remembered as Arnold from Diff’rent Strokes has been dogged by one mishap after another since that show ended, but now finally gets himself back on track, evident in the release of Midgets Vs. Mascots. Too bad what could be a fun filled comeback is wrapped in a ridiculous, forgettable movie.
First Look Pictures gives the masses the Midgets Vs. Mascots DVD, billed in the press release as a cross between Borat and the Jackass movies. As a fan of both, I can tell you this flick is not only not in the ballpark of those movies, but it’s not even in the parking lot.
The premise? Two rich schmucks are set to inherit the fortune of a “little person” icon, also a famed mascot. The catch is, the little dead guy seeks to teach his gold-digging ex-wife and normal sized douchebag son some respect for the wee folk by having them “coach” a team of midgets against a team of mascots. Playing himself, Gary Coleman lands a spot on the team and reluctantly participates in the 30 events in 30 days in order to gain a portion of the payout.
The events, like seeing who can spout the fewest insults before being punched and who can create the most realistic looking fake porn, are set in the general public for shock value. The problem is the laugh factor goes out the window when you stage the events in front of actors, thus losing the impact of the joke, becoming the reverse of what makes Jackass and Borat so laughable. Sure, the movie does offer a few chuckles here and there, mostly in the form of quick, expletive laden quips from Coleman and the douche (and a couple from Kevin Smith’s bud Jason Mewes’s drop-in appearance). Largely, what could’ve been a promising marathon of hilarity instead offers nothing more than some gratuitous boob shots, a few misappropriated racial slurs and misfiring jokes.
On the Disc:
Extras on the DVD are limited to a few deleted scenes, but viewers will more than likely feel they just sat through 88 minutes of one large deleted scene. The verdict? One-and-a-half stars, one going to Coleman, the remainder going to Mewes. Great title, nice cover packaging, but Midgets Vs. Mascots ultimately falls short (pun definitely intended).
-Brian Williams
